Dating - They Dying Trend
Our world is losing it's social skills, and one of those areas where we are seriously failing is dating. There is a cycle that one is meant to go through and that is: Dating, Courtship, Engagement, then Marriage. However, we have run into a major problem in society. Dating is a dying trend.
A big part of this is due to technology. We spend more time looking at screens then carrying on actual conversations face to face. We also fear rejection, to the point where we avoid it at all cost. There is also the rising trend of 'hanging out'. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with friends, but people use it to replace dating and assume if they 'hang-out' together in a group it counts as dating, this is false!!
There are 3 P's of dating - Planned, Paid for, and Paired off. Dating is meant to be enjoyable and fun, while also giving people the chance to really focus on one person and get to know them better. Dating helps us build our social skills, gain experience, and help us know what qualities we desire in a future companion for life.
Let me share a few personal examples from my dating life experiences. First, going back to High School, a gentleman had asked me to the school's homecoming dance. I said yes. The day before the dance, this particular boy texted me saying, "I found someone else better to go with. So I won't be taking you to the dance anymore." I wasn't too distraught over this, mostly because I didn't like him that much to begin with or even know him that well, but many of my friends and family were furious. What bothered me most was not that he had found another date after already asking me, but that he didn't tell me to my face, he just texted me about it, it was very cowardice and his part which upset me. Technology makes it so much easier to take the personal side out of things.
Second and third experience. Hanging out is a serious problem, and misconception for dating. Another date I went on was with a friend that we hung out with the same group of friends regularly and we sat next to each other in a class we had together. This was our very first date and this particular date turned to me and said,"So does this mean we should start letting people know we're official now? Since we've been on a date and all?" I was bewildered, not only did I not feel this way about my friend but I was confused as to why in the world we would all of the sudden be 'official' after a single date?! This friend explained to me that nobody dates anymore unless they're a couple, you hang out to find your person and then you start dating. THIS IS WRONG.
This third experience also relates to the messed up world of dating we live in. A friend and I both really wanted to go to Prom together, all our friends knew it. It was a boys choice dance and everyone figured he was going to ask me. I on the other hand figured he had already asked someone. Since my friends and I hadn't been asked on a date we decided to go anyway as a big group of friends. This particular young man came along. At the dance we danced almost every dance together and didn't really hang out with the rest of the group, we spent most of our time like we were on a date. I asked this friend at the end of the night, "Why didn't you ask anyone to Prom?" His reply, "No one dates anymore, they hang out, and I was too scared to ask you and thought you would say no or find it weird."
Dating is a dying trend that we need to bring back. There is a reason the worlds social skills are falling and a reason relationships and marriages are falling apart. There is a system. And that system includes dating. Dating is a big reason why my husband caught my attention.
At first we met hanging out because of mutual friends, but, a few weeks later my husband asked me on a date. It really caught my attention how he had planned, prepared and paid for everything. That was the first date I had ever been on that I hadn't paid for. He was a complete gentleman. The semester was then filled with more and more dates, getting to know one another. They were thought out and planned, and he tried to choose things he figured would be fun, creative and things that I would enjoy. He listened to me and really got to know what I was interested in.
However, one of my most memorable dates with him and one of my favourites was when we apart. We went to school 7 months together but then returned to our homes for the break of 5 months. I lived in Utah and he lived in Tennessee. We were miles apart. But that didn't stop us from dating. Instead of letting media and technology dull our conversations we tried our best to do face to face dates. I remember he called me on the phone asking me on a date a specific day and time, he said he would plan it and that he would face time me to start the date. I agreed but wasn't sure how this virtual date was going to work. The day finally arrived and as promised he face timed at the exact time the date was supposed to start. He then explained what we would be doing. We both had a paper and pencil in front of us. Each of us would draw a small line or doodle and show it to the other for them to copy it onto their paper. Then each of us would have to create a drawing from those abstract shapes and share them with one another. We did this several times and then concluded the date watching a show together over face time. I remember being touched and amazed at how creative it was despite the distance.
Dating is where it all starts and it continues on forever. Now that we are married my husband and I still go on dates every week and it strengthens our marriage and relationship so much. It is the way that we continue to learn and grow and continue getting to know one another. Dating is the best!
A big part of this is due to technology. We spend more time looking at screens then carrying on actual conversations face to face. We also fear rejection, to the point where we avoid it at all cost. There is also the rising trend of 'hanging out'. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with friends, but people use it to replace dating and assume if they 'hang-out' together in a group it counts as dating, this is false!!
There are 3 P's of dating - Planned, Paid for, and Paired off. Dating is meant to be enjoyable and fun, while also giving people the chance to really focus on one person and get to know them better. Dating helps us build our social skills, gain experience, and help us know what qualities we desire in a future companion for life.
Let me share a few personal examples from my dating life experiences. First, going back to High School, a gentleman had asked me to the school's homecoming dance. I said yes. The day before the dance, this particular boy texted me saying, "I found someone else better to go with. So I won't be taking you to the dance anymore." I wasn't too distraught over this, mostly because I didn't like him that much to begin with or even know him that well, but many of my friends and family were furious. What bothered me most was not that he had found another date after already asking me, but that he didn't tell me to my face, he just texted me about it, it was very cowardice and his part which upset me. Technology makes it so much easier to take the personal side out of things.
Second and third experience. Hanging out is a serious problem, and misconception for dating. Another date I went on was with a friend that we hung out with the same group of friends regularly and we sat next to each other in a class we had together. This was our very first date and this particular date turned to me and said,"So does this mean we should start letting people know we're official now? Since we've been on a date and all?" I was bewildered, not only did I not feel this way about my friend but I was confused as to why in the world we would all of the sudden be 'official' after a single date?! This friend explained to me that nobody dates anymore unless they're a couple, you hang out to find your person and then you start dating. THIS IS WRONG.
This third experience also relates to the messed up world of dating we live in. A friend and I both really wanted to go to Prom together, all our friends knew it. It was a boys choice dance and everyone figured he was going to ask me. I on the other hand figured he had already asked someone. Since my friends and I hadn't been asked on a date we decided to go anyway as a big group of friends. This particular young man came along. At the dance we danced almost every dance together and didn't really hang out with the rest of the group, we spent most of our time like we were on a date. I asked this friend at the end of the night, "Why didn't you ask anyone to Prom?" His reply, "No one dates anymore, they hang out, and I was too scared to ask you and thought you would say no or find it weird."
Dating is a dying trend that we need to bring back. There is a reason the worlds social skills are falling and a reason relationships and marriages are falling apart. There is a system. And that system includes dating. Dating is a big reason why my husband caught my attention.
At first we met hanging out because of mutual friends, but, a few weeks later my husband asked me on a date. It really caught my attention how he had planned, prepared and paid for everything. That was the first date I had ever been on that I hadn't paid for. He was a complete gentleman. The semester was then filled with more and more dates, getting to know one another. They were thought out and planned, and he tried to choose things he figured would be fun, creative and things that I would enjoy. He listened to me and really got to know what I was interested in.
However, one of my most memorable dates with him and one of my favourites was when we apart. We went to school 7 months together but then returned to our homes for the break of 5 months. I lived in Utah and he lived in Tennessee. We were miles apart. But that didn't stop us from dating. Instead of letting media and technology dull our conversations we tried our best to do face to face dates. I remember he called me on the phone asking me on a date a specific day and time, he said he would plan it and that he would face time me to start the date. I agreed but wasn't sure how this virtual date was going to work. The day finally arrived and as promised he face timed at the exact time the date was supposed to start. He then explained what we would be doing. We both had a paper and pencil in front of us. Each of us would draw a small line or doodle and show it to the other for them to copy it onto their paper. Then each of us would have to create a drawing from those abstract shapes and share them with one another. We did this several times and then concluded the date watching a show together over face time. I remember being touched and amazed at how creative it was despite the distance.
Dating is where it all starts and it continues on forever. Now that we are married my husband and I still go on dates every week and it strengthens our marriage and relationship so much. It is the way that we continue to learn and grow and continue getting to know one another. Dating is the best!
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