Stress and the Family - Opportunity to Bond
This week in class we discussed the one thing everyone tries to avoid: stress. However, stress does not equal crisis and the end of a family. It is our responses to stress that either help us to grow or destroy us. A stressor is anything that puts strain on a person or the family. Whereas a crisis is when that stressor takes over and recovery is long gone.
An interesting system we discussed in class in the ABCX theory. A being the actual event or stressor that occurred. B being both resources available and responses (faith, community, family). C being cognition or the way we think about the problem. And lastly X being the total experience or outcome. This theory is what determines weather a stressful event will either tear the family apart or be a wonderful opportunity for them to grow and better connect with one anther.
Stress is actually a very beautiful thing and the body has been created with a wonderful built in protection system. This system is known as the limbic system. Our brain is divided in several different parts. One part is the limbic system which is a sort of auto pilot. The limbic system also contains the brain stem which helps to control our metabolic responses that keep us alive such as our heart rate, breathing, sleep and wake cycle, digestion, blood pressure, etc. When we experience something frightful like watching a scary movie or surfing and seeing a shark our limbic system jumps into action.
With the shark situation your body begins to react to this perceived fear by your raising your heart rate and your breathing. You also will most likely not feel sleepy at all anymore and your digestions system stops for the time being because it is not an important function in this moment of danger. Your blood pressure will either rise or drop. Why does your body react this way? It is preparing you to fight, flight, or freeze. It is helping you prepare to process the situation and get out of it!
Our mind does this also with smaller scary experiences like watching a scary movie or riding a roller coaster. Your mind takes in the fear and reacts the same way it would to the shark situation, just a little bit more toned down.
What is the problem with this beautiful process of the brain? It can be misleading at times. Anxiety is a natural, normal, healthy response to a perception of danger. But, the brain believes what we tell it. So the brain cannot differentiate between real danger and perceived danger. This is where cognitive therapy comes in. The way that we help our minds to react in a way that will help to strength our families in a time of stress is by helping our brain to recognize weather the danger is being perceived or if it is an actual danger. As soon as you have figured that out then you make a plan together as a family and face this stressor.
Cognitive therapy is a way that you help your brain to find truth. Although your brain cannot distinguish automatically between perceived danger and real danger, you can train yourself to look deeper at that situation and analyze if you are stressing over something that is life threatening like a shark or if you are stressing over something unreal such as a scary movie.
We need to be open with our families and not bottle up what we are feeling and thinking. It's okay to be stressed, and it's okay to have anxiety about things, but in order to prevent our family from shattering over a stressor, we must be open and communicate what we are feeling so we can help out our own bodies the way our limbic system does and see weather we are in real danger or simply perceived danger. Coping can be difficult at first, but it just takes time and practice. You need to open up and recognize what boundaries you and your family need to build to protect one another and to stay strong as a family unit.
Sources:
file:///C:/Users/Owner/Downloads/Lauer%20&%20Lauer,%20Chapter%2013%20-%20Family%20Crisis.pdf
https://www.mayoclinic.org/brain/sls-20077047
https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS777US777&biw=1280&bih=578&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=X8ILXZe9EomS0gLX3I3QDw&q=don%27t+stress+clip+art&oq=don%27t+stress+clip+art&gs_l=img.3...5598.6687..7688...0.0..0.78.432.6......0....1..gws-wiz-img.aFY_sEDfQdU#imgdii=c925UuBs0YX6ZM:&imgrc=B6C8KDJ5gPEIAM:
An interesting system we discussed in class in the ABCX theory. A being the actual event or stressor that occurred. B being both resources available and responses (faith, community, family). C being cognition or the way we think about the problem. And lastly X being the total experience or outcome. This theory is what determines weather a stressful event will either tear the family apart or be a wonderful opportunity for them to grow and better connect with one anther.
Stress is actually a very beautiful thing and the body has been created with a wonderful built in protection system. This system is known as the limbic system. Our brain is divided in several different parts. One part is the limbic system which is a sort of auto pilot. The limbic system also contains the brain stem which helps to control our metabolic responses that keep us alive such as our heart rate, breathing, sleep and wake cycle, digestion, blood pressure, etc. When we experience something frightful like watching a scary movie or surfing and seeing a shark our limbic system jumps into action.
With the shark situation your body begins to react to this perceived fear by your raising your heart rate and your breathing. You also will most likely not feel sleepy at all anymore and your digestions system stops for the time being because it is not an important function in this moment of danger. Your blood pressure will either rise or drop. Why does your body react this way? It is preparing you to fight, flight, or freeze. It is helping you prepare to process the situation and get out of it!
Our mind does this also with smaller scary experiences like watching a scary movie or riding a roller coaster. Your mind takes in the fear and reacts the same way it would to the shark situation, just a little bit more toned down.
What is the problem with this beautiful process of the brain? It can be misleading at times. Anxiety is a natural, normal, healthy response to a perception of danger. But, the brain believes what we tell it. So the brain cannot differentiate between real danger and perceived danger. This is where cognitive therapy comes in. The way that we help our minds to react in a way that will help to strength our families in a time of stress is by helping our brain to recognize weather the danger is being perceived or if it is an actual danger. As soon as you have figured that out then you make a plan together as a family and face this stressor.
Cognitive therapy is a way that you help your brain to find truth. Although your brain cannot distinguish automatically between perceived danger and real danger, you can train yourself to look deeper at that situation and analyze if you are stressing over something that is life threatening like a shark or if you are stressing over something unreal such as a scary movie.
We need to be open with our families and not bottle up what we are feeling and thinking. It's okay to be stressed, and it's okay to have anxiety about things, but in order to prevent our family from shattering over a stressor, we must be open and communicate what we are feeling so we can help out our own bodies the way our limbic system does and see weather we are in real danger or simply perceived danger. Coping can be difficult at first, but it just takes time and practice. You need to open up and recognize what boundaries you and your family need to build to protect one another and to stay strong as a family unit.
Sources:
file:///C:/Users/Owner/Downloads/Lauer%20&%20Lauer,%20Chapter%2013%20-%20Family%20Crisis.pdf
https://www.mayoclinic.org/brain/sls-20077047
https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS777US777&biw=1280&bih=578&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=X8ILXZe9EomS0gLX3I3QDw&q=don%27t+stress+clip+art&oq=don%27t+stress+clip+art&gs_l=img.3...5598.6687..7688...0.0..0.78.432.6......0....1..gws-wiz-img.aFY_sEDfQdU#imgdii=c925UuBs0YX6ZM:&imgrc=B6C8KDJ5gPEIAM:
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